“IF you become successful…”
“Okay, but what’s your back up plan?”
“Well, can I see any of your work anywhere?”
“Alright, but how long are you going to be doing this?”
“But don’t you want kids?”
“How does Trevor feel about this? Isn’t he ready for you to give this up?”
“Why can’t you just move closer to everyone?”
“With this strike happening is this going to be another year of not booking?”
I love y’all and I understand your concerns but also please stop.
Today on my walk with Hulu, I was listening to the One Broke Actress podcast (if you are an actor, LISTEN TO THIS!) and one of the questions asked to another actor was about defining success. I paused it and sat down on a bench along the river walk. Now I LOVE this podcast, but at that moment I didn’t care at all to hear someone say they needed 9-12 months of expenses in savings and golden trophy accolades, or something along those lines, something like what I have always said success would be for me…
I don’t know why today was different, but I paused the fitness app on my watch so I could sit and I began writing…
What is my success? When will I be successful?
My success is happening now… It’s also been happening every day for the past eight years… ever since I packed up my suitcase at eighteen and moved to New York.
I’ve busted my ass - I own a dance business. I’m launching my own production company. I have three released books, two more in the editing stage. I’m working on a novel and another book for parents of actors. I’ve led countless actors’ groups. I’m currently in rehearsals for a showcase and finally have a shot list for the short film I wrote last year. I’m building a monthly theater show that is set to debut in August. And somehow between finishing my walk and publishing this post I storyboarded an entire web series. I’m doing the goddamned work and I am HAPPY.
So to answer those questions that annoyingly pop up
“Okay, but what’s your back up plan?”
There’s no back up plan. I don’t fucking need one. And I will continue to say what I have always said… if you have a back up plan, CHOOSE THAT. This is not an easy career, but you have to choose it every day.
“Well, can I see any of your work anywhere?”
Yes, you can come see me work! Here is my grand invitation to come and see my upcoming show on June 2nd, 3rd and 4th. Tickets will be on sale soon. And IF that isn’t accessible to you, I will probably finish writing this web series this weekend… Which means I’ll be in pre-production immediately because I am VERY excited about this one.
“Alright, but how long are you going to be doing this?”
Literally until I am dead. Please cremate my ashes with whatever script I had in my hands most recently.
“But don’t you want kids?”
Being an amazing mother and having a brilliant career are not mutually exclusive. Please kindly fuck that rhetoric.
“How does Trevor feel about this? Isn’t he ready for you to give this up?”
Trevor literally ran lines with me yesterday. He’s always supporting me and telling me how proud he is. And on the days that I come home and I’m like WELL THAT FUCKING SUCKED, he goes to buy me some red wine and gummy bears and reminds me that I am important and I am talented.
“Why can’t you just move closer to everyone?”
Plainly put - I don’t want to. Closer to “everyone” means far from my dreams… and while I have thought extensively about Atlanta or Chicago or Charleston or back to New York, I’m in Los Angeles for a reason… and every time I consider going to a different dreamer town, I fall back in love with this shit-hole city…
“With this strike happening is this going to be another year of not booking?”
People deserve to be paid their worth. If that means I am only booking theatre work and indies, then I am beyond thrilled for that. I am also consistently working on my own projects. I’ll be taking this time to focus on my craft and making sure that I am ready to get back to studios when the execs remember who fucking CREATES the art that they profit off of.
It’s important to stay grounded, stay grateful. But it is also equally important to acknowledge your fucking work.